Beginning to feel old may account for sexual depression in some men. It can make a man feel less sexually potent and, by beginning to feel not quite what he was physically a few years ago when he was younger, it increases the fear that he is in a sexual decline. Virility is under threat. Then, as if this is not bad enough, fear of physical failure in performance turns him yet further away from the thoughts of sex. It is only when he meets up with a (new) partner who stimulates him sexually and shows him the outward signs of enjoying a physical relationship with him that his fear passes.
These are the men for whom M-M develops the suspicion that there is something wrong with their hearts. Few check with their doctors but rather than take any risks they remember the old wives tales that with a heart condition you should avoid sex — and so they do. In his research in Britain, Dr Richard Bayou discovered that after one of the partners had suffered a heart attack, one-quarter of the couples enjoyed less frequent sex and another quarter opted out of sex altogether. The misapprehension is that if there is a heart condition sexual activity must stop, that good sex is too much for a weak heart to take. None have given up sex on doctor’s orders.
his ego-balloon punctures and starts slowly to deflate. Self-esteem is damaged. The fear of performing badly the ultimate blow. Being constructive some turn to sexual counsellors for therapy for help while others, from continuing fear, turn to the simplicity of abstinence.
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